Part 2: Freedom From Depression in 2016
A little over a year after I gave that 2015 talk at church (and which I had shared with my family) my son asked me to post it in “The Stoddard Family Blog.” I told him that I had to update things. That I was no longer depressed and that I needed to explain what changed. The following explains the “work” it took to heal from depression. This Stoddard Family Blogpost was from 2016:
July 3, 2016
“More than 16 million US adults had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.”
(Taken from Mormon Channel, Like a Broke Vessel, video)
“A force greater than me.” “Didn’t feel hope, didn’t know how to hope.” “It’s like water torture. It’s there. It just never lets up.” “Absolute fear, darkness, and pain.” “You get to a point where you don’t want to be here anymore.” “You can’t see anything beyond–just a couple of feet in front of you–and you don’t know what is coming.”
I can remember and, therefore, can relate to what these struggling members bravely shared in this video about their ever present, vigilant, taxing skirmishes with depression and mental illness. April 26, 2015, I saw it in me. And you all saw it worse in me during the madness of September and October 2011.
And now I don’t…I don’t see it…It’s gone…the depression is gone.
It’s the miracle of my life!
I am off all depression medications – indeed all medications (except my armour thyroid medication–although the dosage has been lowered.)
My thoughts are more steady and positive.
I have increased energy and stamina.
And as your father would say, I have increased capacity.
I still report in every three months with my Godsend of a psychiatrist – Dr. Brian Goldman — who believes in the least amount of medication that does the most good.
I still see my trusted and beloved therapist -DeBora Miller-most every week.
I more than ever cherish going to church every Sunday highlighted by partaking of the Sacrament for renewal and redemption. I take more pleasure in reading the scriptures and going to the Temple.
Your dad and I still walk or ride bikes in the AM for exercise.
And I juice…since May 2015…every day without fail… at least 8 ounces… a fruity base… and ALWAYS with an untold number of vegetables… http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/juicing/benefits/
I, we (your dad and I) juice.
Dr. Roy Harris, your dad’s general practice doctor, has cut Rick’s cholesterol medication by half. Your dad’s health numbers (like triglycerides-now 85, CHOL/HDL-now 2.5 and ALT-now 19) have gone down in a positive way. His pre-diabetic condition no longer exists.
And I repeat. I am off all depression medications. My thoughts are more steady and positive. I have increased energy and stamina. I have increased capacity. The gospel of juicing…Bless you, DeBora, for suggesting it!
When I read over my talk from last year or watch this recent video from the church, I remember, I really do remember how terrifying, dark, hopeless, isolating, fearful, and tormenting depression was as it pressed and crushed and bore mightily down on me. Indeed, it knocked me flat.
And I am not presumptive enough to think that it will never rear its horrible, ugly, demented head again. I have cautiously learned too much not to respect its potent, dreadful power.
But I am grateful — in my heart, in my soul, in my body, and most especially in my mind—that, for now, it is gone. Vanished. Kaput. Thank you, dear God, most gracious Heavenly Father for this miracle of a blessing.
In a juxtaposed, ironic way I am grateful for ALL that has happened. Which makes me so grateful for all that has helped me and all the supportive people who have been there for me. Including you–my beloved family.
https://www.lds.org/mentalhealth?lang=eng